A Little Bit Culty The Guru Wears Prada: Sofia May on Surviving Tibetan Buddhism at Tara Mandala (Part 2)
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Feb 12, 2026 Sofia May, comedian and former assistant at Tara Mandala who exposed misconduct there, shares raw memories of spiritual abuse and recovery. She recounts how reverence, hierarchy, and manipulation mixed in retreat life. The conversation covers tailored coercion, hazing, gaslighting, and the turning point that led her to leave. She also discusses healing through therapy and comedy and why discernment matters in spiritual communities.
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From Lovey-Dovey Volunteer To Full-Time Surprise
- Sofia May described volunteering as Soltrum's assistant the first summer as a warm, limited role where she fetched groceries and chatted.
- She contrasted that with returning full-time later and discovering an undefined job that required managing a large estate and anticipating every need.
Enlightened Entitlement Explains Abuse
- Sofia observed that entitled, demanding behavior was reframed as 'enlightened entitlement' by staff.
- This reframing justified abusive, chaotic demands as spiritual 'downloads' rather than managerial failings.
Therapy Used As Performance Control
- After asking about Soltrum's dating life, Sofia was iced out and told she was 'too unstable' for the role, then pressured into therapy with a staff psychologist.
- That therapist mixed job criticism into sessions and told Sofia she was 'really bad at your job', blurring therapy and performance review.
