What If It’s Not “Settling”? Reimagining Acceptance

This solo episode is going to explore a fear that many of us carry inside our intimate relationships but rarely say out loud: the fear of settling. What is it? Where does it come from? And most importantly, what does it cost us? Dr. Alexandra will offer you a reframe that is both clarifying and hopeful. We are going to reimagine what acceptance actually means – not as a passive giving-up, but as one of the most powerful and underrated tools available to us in love. 

In this episode, you will hear about:

• The cost of comparison and how to shift from external comparison to internal reflection.
• How the word “settling” is working against you.
• What Acceptance is and is not, and how to determine whether you are acting in the spirit of acceptance or resignation.
• How to tend to the grief that is often built into Acceptance.

Grab a pen and paper! Dr. Alexandra has included a writing exercise in this episode, designed to guide you towards acceptance - both of yourself and your partner.

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

• Reimagining Love episodes: Relational Ambivalence: Should I Stay or Should I Go? Part 1 https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/relational-ambivalence-should-i-stay-or-should-i-go-part-1-rerelease/
• Relational Ambivalence: Should I Stay or Should I Go? Part 2 https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/relational-ambivalence-should-i-stay-or-should-i-go-part-2-rerelease/
• Inviting a Reluctant Partner into Relationship Work https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/inviting-a-reluctant-partner-into-relationship-work-re-release/
• “I Think I’ve Outgrown My Relationship!” https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/i-think-ive-outgrown-my-relationship
• Is There an “Effort Mismatch” in Your Relationship? https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/is-there-an-effort-mismatch-in-your-relationship

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

• Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
• Access Resources, like quizzes and courses: https://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/resources
• Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
• Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s Loving Bravely newsletter: https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/
• Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Join Esther Perel's annual clinical conference Sessions Live 2026! Learn in person in Brooklyn, New York or virtually on May 15th and 16th. Use code SOLOMON50 for $50 off a virtual ticket or SOLOMON100 for $100 off in-person. Get your tickets at https://sessionslive2026.estherperel.com/

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