162: How To Navigate Coming Out Late In Life with David Cotton

Feb 20, 2026

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Coming out is never easy. Despite the societal progress we've made culturally, there is a large swath of men who would, quite literally, rather be hit by a truck than come out.

This pressure, if you feel it, only compounds with age. Especially if you're also married to a woman and have kids, like today's guest David was.

David didn't come out until his late 50s - after a successful career in the U.S. Air Force as Brigadier General, after being married to a beautiful woman, and after having kids.

The truth was, he had always wondered and had inklings about his true self. But he buried them and focused on his career and parenthood.

But after his kids moved out, he couldn't wear the three-foot mask over his true self any longer.

Coming out was one of the hardest things he's ever done.

And it completely changed his personality. He went from being an introvert to an extrovert, and he uses his real personality to help other men who are coming out late.

If you've been struggling with whether or not you're gay - or you just want to learn more about what gay men go through so you can be more compassionate and empathetic, listen now.

Here's what David and I discuss:

Why it's never actually too "late" to come out (even though it might feel like it)
Why "letting people in" instead of "coming out" can make it easier
How to better navigate coming out (especially if you're married and have kids)

And more, including…

Why the BEST way to improve your mental health is by moving your physical body (4:40)
How to better handle coming out later in life (even if you've already married a woman and have had kids like David) (8:16)
How cultural and subconscious homophobia can delay your coming out (14:30)
Why letting your loved ones "in" (instead of "coming out") makes these tough conversations easier and less daunting (15:31)
Dr. Joe Kort's (a sex therapist) "Beach Test" that can help confused men decide if they're gay or not (24:57)
How finally accepting yourself as gay can alter your entire personality (David lived his life as an introvert until he came out) (26:16)
The strange way your repressed fears get projected onto others (David first noticed this as the U.S. Air Force Brigadier General - where being gay could get him fired back then) (44:01)

Guest Bio:

David Cotton is a certified life transition & personal development life coach, retired U.S. Air Force Brigadier General, and former corporate executive who now dedicates his life to helping others step into their truth and live with intention. After decades of living in alignment with expectations rather than identity, David came out as a gay man later in life — a transformational experience that fuels his passion for guiding others through life's biggest transitions.

David specializes in coaching men who are coming out later in life, as well as individuals of all backgrounds seeking clarity, courage, and authenticity in the face of personal change. His coaching practice is rooted in deep empathy, strategic reflection, and a belief that it's never too late to become the person you were always meant to be.

He is also the creator and host of Out Late With David, a podcast that amplifies powerful, heartfelt stories of people who have come out later in life — often after years of silence or living in the shadows. Through real conversations and unflinching honesty, David offers listeners hope, insight, and a sense of belonging.

Based in Palm Springs, California, David brings warmth, wisdom, and just the right touch of wit to his coaching, his podcast, and every life he touches.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

1. David Cotton Coaching: Whether you're transitioning through a tough period in your life (like coming out) or you just want to get more out of your life, David's coaching might be able to help. Learn more here: LINK

2. Out Late with David Podcast: While coming out (especially "late") is never easy, hearing other men share their stories helps. That's what Out Late with David is about. Listen to it here:

3. Find more of David's Coming Out Resources: If you want more resources for coming out, check out David's Linktree here: https://linktr.ee/davidacotton

4. Man Flow Yoga Events: On February 28, I'm hosting a Saturday Workshop in Denver, CO. If you want to do yoga with me and get feedback in real-time, get your ticket here: https://shop.manflowyoga.com/collections/in-person-events/products/mfy-workshop-denver-february-2026-02-28

5. Man Flow Yoga: Haven't signed up yet? Start your 7-day free trial and see how yoga can eliminate aches and pains better than other types of exercise here: https://shrtlnk.co/kP8M7