everybody has a secret yep, boyfriends are still embarrassing (ft Chanté Joseph)
Mar 19, 2026
Chanté Joseph, writer and social commentator known for a viral Vogue piece, joins to unpack modern dating culture. She reflects on sudden online backlash and the emotional toll of virality. She calls out situationships as soul-draining and discusses heteropessimism, how to date without losing your temper, and practical steps for reclaiming independence.
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Interrogate Straight Relationship Norms
- Straight relationships are normalized as a baseline so they rarely get scrutinized.
- Chanté Joseph argues interrogating heterosexual norms reveals systemic issues and opportunities for more nourishing partnerships.
Situationships Are Progress Killers
- Situationships sap energy and progress, acting as a cultural drag on people's lives.
- Chanté calls situationships 'harrowing' and says they hold society back from bigger progress like 'flying cars' in jest.
Heteropessimism Is Widespread Resignation
- Heteropessimism reflects defeat rather than finality; many still date men while expecting poor outcomes.
- Chanté believes men can change but society currently fails to incentivize better behaviour.