The Place We Find Ourselves 138 How To Heal From Sorrow and Grief Part 5 with Mary Ellen Owen
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May 1, 2023 Mary Ellen Owen shares her journey with sorrow and grief, discussing the importance of healing and embracing tears. The concept of 'whaling women' is explored, as well as the struggle trauma survivors face in accessing and embracing their tears. The transformative power of grief, dance, and the presence of others is emphasized in finding healing.
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Beginning With The Whaling Woman
- Mary Ellen first noticed her inability to cry at her grandfather's funeral and later in graduate school realized grief was necessary for deep healing.
- A random Bible 'crack' on January 12, 2000 (Jeremiah 9) compelled her to seek skilled mourners and begin the long work of finding tears.
Grief Triggers Body-Level Resistance
- Opening to grief creates internal ambivalence: parts of you long for it while your body resists with fight/flight.
- Mary Ellen needed patient, steady companions who could comfort her into tolerating sorrow.
Tears That Aren't For The Story
- Adam shares trying to force tears in training and his group leader, Susan Kim, pointed out the tears felt disconnected from the story.
- That observation revealed he couldn't access sorrow for the younger self in that story and needed slow, midwife-like accompaniment.