I Loved Blackouts Because I Was Neither Dead Nor Really Alive - AA Speaker - Damon G.

Damon was a militant atheist who chased blackouts as his only escape from a life he didn't want — the steps didn't just get him sober, they sent him to seminary. We just launched our new Episodes page — search hundreds of AA speaker meetings by topic, speaker, or step ☀️  Sober-Sunrise.com Damon was spiritually sick long before alcohol showed up — the ruined relationships and lost jobs were already happening. When he found what booze could do, he chased blackouts six or seven nights a week because they were the closest thing to not existing without having to die. When that stopped working, he crawled into AA and almost walked right back out after hearing people with decades who sounded just as miserable as he felt. A sponsor who pounded the table about doing more showed him the book, and Damon walks through all 12 steps across four sessions with the precision of someone who thinks his way into corners and had to think his way out. From the claw in Union Square that was really trying to lead him somewhere better, to returning a box of stolen library books so old they couldn't scan them, to spontaneously grabbing his shoes and running out to church with his father for the first time — the man who would have taken his own life to avoid anything religious ended up in seminary, not because he found a belief system but because the steps gave him an experience he still can't describe. Damon G. from Bay Shore, NY. Four night step-work covering all 12 steps at the Primary Purpose Group in Seaford, NY – February 5th thru February 26th, 2011.  Music: Deep by KaizanBlu