The Art of Manliness Why You Don’t Change (But How You Still Can) [ENCORE]
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Dec 28, 2022 
Dr. Ross Ellenhorn, a psychiatrist and author of "How We Change (And Ten Reasons Why We Don’t)", dives deep into the complexities of personal transformation. He argues that understanding why change is hard is crucial to achieving it. The discussion covers the paradox of hope and fear, how social support can empower or hinder change, and the importance of collective and individual accountability. Ellenhorn emphasizes patience, the need to embrace staying the same sometimes, and the intricate relationship between personal goals and societal influences.
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Faith and Hope
- Faith, similar to self-efficacy, is the belief in your ability to make things happen.
- Hope contains a kernel of faith, but repeated disappointments can erode this faith and make hope scary.
Fear of Hope
- Repeated failures can lead to despair and helplessness, making future hope seem risky.
- This fear of disappointment can be a major obstacle to change.
Protecting Hope by Staying the Same
- Staying the same can be a way to protect our remaining hope from further injury.
- Respecting this self-protective mechanism is crucial for eventual change.
