Navigating a troubled relationship (follow up to 16 Sept podcast) : listener comments

I thought for a while whether I had any follow ups or anything but tbh I couldn’t take in your response. I keep asking people for help in the form of wanting advice or joining various courses, trying to find someone who gets it and to help me see what to do about various things, not just my daughter, but don’t seem to be able to receive the response and I’m not really sure what to do with that. 

As I write that I’m realising that that is what I’ve heard you talk about, the ask and the observing of the response. My response seems to be to not be able to take it in, the mind doesn’t seem to want to take in the response because somehow that makes it too real, too painful, so it just moves onto the next problem to fix. Always fixing fixing fixing but never still enough to actually slow down and look at what is going on. 

Or maybe my ask wasn’t clean, it looked like I was asking for how to navigate the relationship with my daughter, but as I get really still with that, I see that my question was an attempt to secure myself as being seen and loved by a system that, when identified, believes she isn’t. The situation with my daughter was a way to justify asking, so I suppose that’s why I couldn’t take in what to do, because it was never about that. 

See this is what my mind does, relentlessly analysing what the mind is doing and why and what that means and ugh, here it goes again!