Life Coaching with Christine Hassler EP 232: Make Choices with Clarity and Stop Sabotaging Patterns with Megan
This episode is about asking for what you need in relationships. Today's caller, Megan, feels overwhelmed when faced with too many choices and is afraid to be truly seen. She doesn't want her pattern of uncertainty to sabotage her new relationship. Like in many coaching sessions, her initial question isn't exactly what we focus on. This is for anyone who has trouble making decisions, doubts themselves, or is in sabotaging patterns.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode232]
For empaths, love can feel overwhelming because we love so deeply. When we are in a relationship it can feel smothering and overwhelming. Instead of communicating that we need boundaries and space with love we are often afraid of confrontation or don't want to make the other person upset. So, we unconsciously push them away by either judging them internally, nitpicking, or acting out in other ways. Empaths need to know what they need — especially at the beginning of the relationship. When you are first dating someone you need to be vocal and ask for what you need.
Boundaries in a relationship and asking for what you need is important. That way you don't have to build walls. You can have a door and that door can be open most of the time but sometimes you need to shut it and put on the do not disturb sign. The people in your life that love you will understand. It will allow them to spend time with themselves.
When our heart is broken either through a breakup or the death of someone, we want to love again but we are scared because it feels risky.
Fear of making the wrong decision will keep you from making the decision. Basically, fear complicates everything in your life. The more you can drop into love and your inner knowing and move out of the energy of fear the more clarity you will have in all aspects of your life.
I am a proud sponsor of B-school which is an online training program for modern entrepreneurs taught by Marie Forleo. When you register through my link you will receive special bonuses from me. I include four group coaching calls of 90 min each, four custom meditations for entrepreneurs, access to my Facebook group, a one day retreat, plus free access to my master class for coaches. Go to ChristineHassler.com/bschool or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com for more information. For free training videos from Marie go to ChristineHassler.com/training.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
- Do you notice you have sabotaging behaviors? You can get close to what you want but then sabotaging thoughts or behaviors show up.
- When it comes to making decisions do you struggle and wonder if you made the right choice? Or, that you should be "doing something different."
- Have you lost someone you love either through the ending of a relationship or a death and you are scared to open your heart again?
- Do you make time regularly to connect to your inner wisdom and get answers from there?
Megan's Question:
Megan has a recurring pattern of feeling as if she isn't doing the right thing or feels she should be doing something else and would like guidance on how to change it.
Megan's Key Insights and Ahas:
- She is an empath.
- She is in a new relationship.
- She is aware of her patterns.
- Her mother tried to control what she was eating.
- She is overwhelmed with too many choices.
- She is afraid of another heartbreak.
- She feels safer when she is alone.
- She has created a fortress around her heart.
- She is afraid to be seen.
- She is filled with doubt about her ability to write a book.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- She needs to establish healthy boundaries in her new relationship.
- She needs to ask for what she needs.
- She needs to recognize her gift of feeling deeply.
- She needs to connect more deeply to the divine inside of her.
Takeaways:
- Make sure you have boundaries, not barriers. Don't build a fortress around yourself. Just put up the 'do not disturb' sign for a while.
- Risk big when it comes to loving! When fear comes up, remind yourself that with fear you are already in loss.
- If you are afraid of letting someone in, journal about what you don't want someone else to see. Often, we don't know what we are hiding.
- My 6-step Process to Making Intuitive Decisions is my gift to you. Send a text to 444999 and put 'Christine' in the subject line. If you are outside of the U.S. email assist@christinehassler.com and request the free gift.
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Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community.
To watch episodes of coaching sessions, go to Youtube.com/christinehassler
Christine's Personal Mastery Course
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Christine's Books, including Expectation Hangover
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com — To provide feedback
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