Parenting Untangled | Realistic, expert teen & tween parenting advice & support Starting University: The supportive thing that makes all the difference.
Long term listener, Cathy, has asked us some very heartfelt and important questions about how to support her teen at university. It's an excellent topic for us to tackle since Susie currently has one at university, I have one about to go, and two who have already graduated, one of whom gave me some excellent tips.
It's a topic that evokes mixed-emotions for everyone.
Here's what Cathy wrote:
Please 'discuss how best to support your teen as they go off to university and live away from home for the first time. How about if they don't like their roommate, or they have difficulty sharing a room, or they have problems adjusting academically and or socially to university and they want to come home? Any tips for success?'
We’ll be digging into those questions and more. We’ll look at the dropout rates to get an idea of what goes wrong.what challenges students face — from social pressure to mental health — and what you can do now to prepare your teen not just to survive university, but to thrive.
We also share practical tips — like life skills they should master before they go, what kind of support they need once they’re there, and how to let go without disappearing completely.
So, whether your teen is packing their bags this summer or just starting to explore their options, this episode will give you real tools to support them — and yourself — during one of the biggest transitions in family life.
What struck me was that kids who start out well tend to have much higher rates of completion than those who struggle at the offset. It may seem obvious, but it's a very useful indicator of how important those early days and weeks are.
It fits very neatly with the work of Dr Gregory Walton, Ordinary Magic, who featured in last week's episode. He says there are deep questions we ask at key points in life. These points are TIC's.
T: Transitions in life.
I: Points at which our Identity as at stake.
C: When we have big Challenges.
Often we are not conscious of these questions, but they can play havoc with our lives if we don't deal with them.
The two big questions that comes up for university joiners are:
Do I belong?
Can I do this?
PRINCIPLES FOR THIS FROM ORDINARY MAGIC:
1 - Avoid negative labels. (I'm not bad)
2 - You're not the only one. (It's normal)
3 - Recognise causes taht don't malign you or others. (These are real obstacles for me)
4 - Forecast improvement. (It can get better)
5 - Recognise opportunities (Look for options and silver linings)
I will be urging my da
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Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.
My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
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You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk