Pirate Monk Podcast 377 | Mary Archibeque | Intimacy vs Intensity
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Jul 27, 2023 Mary Archibeque, an addiction therapist and CSAT from Albuquerque with personal recovery experience, shares her journey from drug addict to counselor. She explores the difference between intensity and true intimacy, emphasizing the importance of vulnerability in therapy. Mary highlights the need for setting boundaries for those helping addicts and discusses how to recognize unhealthy attachments versus genuine connection. She also touches on the prevalence of cross-addiction and offers practical advice for fostering healthy relationships.
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Vulnerability Beats Blank-Slate Therapy
- Mary found vulnerability and sharing her story built connection faster than a 'blank slate' therapist stance. She realized clients respond to authenticity more than polished credentials.
Don't Over-Function For Recovering Loved Ones
- Do not work harder or care more about someone’s recovery than they do; that enables under-functioning. Set boundaries and step back when you find yourself over-functioning.
Intensity Feels Alive; Intimacy Feels Safe
- Intensity and intimacy feel similar but are different: intensity activates the nervous system and is often mistaken for love. True intimacy usually feels peaceful, safe, and grounded rather than chaotic.
