111 – Why You Should Never Loan Money To Family and Friends

We all want to help when someone is in trouble. But helping someone out of financial trouble can come with unexpected costs and consequences. It is for that reason that I strongly advise against ever loaning money to family and friends.

On today's show we hear three stories:

1. Mabel is a widow who chose to help her adult son who was struggling financially after a divorce. In the end, Mabel ended up maxing out her own line of credit and was having trouble keeping up with her own rent and debt payments.
2. Larry loaned his son money for a down payment on a new home. Unfortunately, Larry's son separated from his wife who received the house as part of the separation agreement. Larry's down payment went to his son's ex-spouse.
3. Amanda's parents gave her the 5% down payment she needed to enter the housing market. Unfortunately Amanda quickly found out she couldn't keep up with the bills associated with her new house. Maintenance, a job loss and a flooded basement resulted in her selling the home for less than she owed including some additional credit she incurred trying to keep up.

What's common about all these stories we heard on today's podcast is that in each case, loaning money to someone to 'help out' ended up with very bad consequences for everyone involved.

There are plenty of reasons not to loan money to a friend or family member:

• If they don't pay you back, you could jeopardize your relationship.
• Other family members may expect the same treatment or become resentful if you are seen to be favouring one child with money over another.
• If you have to borrow money yourself, this can lead to your own financial struggles, even your own bankruptcy if you are not repaid.
• You may be enabling bad spending behaviour by bailing your friend or child out, rather than forcing them to deal with their money problems on their own.

Sometimes the best help you can give is no help at all. However if you do want to do something, ask yourself these questions first:

1. Can you afford it? I recommend gifting money over loaning them money. That way you only gift money you can afford. Also, if there is no obligation to pay it back, there is less of a chance that the gift will create friction between you. If they pay it back, you will appreciate the gesture and the friendship will last.
2. Are you really helping? Again, this goes back to enabling bad financial choices. If your child can't afford to maintain their new home, you are doing more harm than good. If they know they can turn to you for a loan, they will never learn to save or live within their means.