Elizabeth Gilbert: On Love, Loss, and Breaking Free

Mar 26, 2026

Elizabeth Gilbert, bestselling memoirist known for Eat, Pray, Love and explorations of creativity and spirituality, discusses a memoir about love, addiction, and recovery. She talks about codependency, LAVA (love, attention, validation, approval), and sex and love addiction. Spiritual experiences, 12-step recovery, and emotional sobriety also feature in the conversation.

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INSIGHT

Love As A Process Addiction

She defines sex-and-love addiction as using people the way others use substances, seeking others to alter mood or stabilize the nervous system.
She reports overlapping relationships and emotional chaos that brought her closest to suicide and homicide, prompting 12-step recovery.

ADVICE

Take Stewardship For Emotional Sobriety

Practice emotional sobriety by refusing to use others to change your mood and taking full stewardship of your being.
Gilbert recommends asking "Who are you blaming your life on today?" and learning to set internal and external boundaries.

INSIGHT

LAVA As The Addictive Reward

She names LAVA (Love, Attention, Validation, Approval) as her drug of choice and the core reward drive behind her addictive attachments.
Removal of LAVA triggers severe withdrawal that historically led her to desperate acts to regain it.

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What if your most beautiful love story turned into your biggest nightmare? And what if your most devastating heartbreak opened a pathway to your greatest awakening? * In her critically acclaimed novels and immensely popular works of nonfiction including Eat Pray Love and Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert expands our understanding of creativity, spirituality, and love. This episode features a powerful conversation between Elizabeth and psychotherapist and CIIS professor Emily Marinelli on love, loss, and breaking free. * This episode was recorded at the beautiful Sydney Goldstein Theater in San Francisco on October 24th, 2025. A transcript is available at ciis.edu/podcast. To find out more about CIIS and public programs like this one, visit our website ciis.edu and connect with us on Instagram @ciispubprograms. * Some podcast apps may not display links from our show notes properly, so we have included a list of links below. * We hope that each episode of our podcast provides opportunities for growth, and that our listeners will use them as a starting point for further introspection. Many of the topics discussed on our podcast have the potential to bring up feelings and emotional responses. If you or someone you know is in need of mental health care and support, here are some resources to find immediate help and future healing: * -Visit 988lifeline.org or text, call, or chat with The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by dialing 988 from anywhere in the U.S. to be connected immediately with a trained counselor. Please note that 988 staff are required to take all action necessary to secure the safety of a caller and initiate emergency response with or without the caller’s consent if they are unwilling or unable to take action on their own behalf. * -Visit thrivelifeline.org or text “THRIVE” to begin a conversation with a THRIVE Lifeline crisis responder 24/7/365, from anywhere: +1.313.662.8209. This confidential text line is available for individuals 18+ and is staffed by people in STEMM with marginalized identities. * -Visit translifeline.org or call (877) 565-8860 in the U.S. or (877) 330-6366 in Canada to learn more and contact Trans Lifeline, who provides trans peer support divested from police. * -Visit ciis.edu/ciis-in-the-world/counseling-clinics to learn more and schedule counseling sessions at one of our centers. * -Find information about additional global helplines at befrienders.org. * LINKS * Podcast Transcripts: https://www.ciis.edu/podcast * California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS) Website: https://www.ciis.edu/ * CIIS Public Programs YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/ciispublicprograms * CIIS Public Programs Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ciispubprograms/ * Mental Health Care and Support Resources: https://988lifeline.org/ https://thrivelifeline.org/ https://translifeline.org/ https://www.ciis.edu/ciis-in-the-world/counseling-clinics https://befrienders.org/