Better Call Sexton James Sexton: The #1 thing all men should hear about dating
Mar 22, 2026
Advice for young men on bringing back decorum through grooming, dress, and self-control. A focus on getting your life together first — fitness, finances, and discipline. Discussion of why passion and competence are attractive. Ideas about setting firm boundaries, delaying physical intimacy, and encouraging women to invest in ambitious men.
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Patience Signals Masculine Control
- Patience and calm increase men's attractiveness by signaling control and stability.
- James J. Sexton contrasts his 50s self with his 20s self to show non-urgency and decisiveness draw women in.
Get Your Own Act Together First
- Get your life in order first: finances, fitness, habits and competence before seeking validation from women.
- Sexton recommends the analogy of hiring young lawyers: be young, smart, hungry and focused on craft over credentials.
Dating Is An Investment In Potential
- Women rarely find a fully formed, emotionally mature, highly successful young man who is single and available.
- Sexton calls dating an investment: 'buy low' into someone on the come up rather than expecting perfection early.