The Genius Life 548: The Science of Improving Sexual Pleasure and Intimacy | Nicole McNichols, PhD
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Feb 4, 2026 
Nicole McNichols, PhD, psychologist and sex educator who teaches human sexuality and wrote You Could Be Having Better Sex. She tackles porn-shaped expectations, the rise and risks of rough sex like choking, and the difference between connected versus performed intimacy. She also covers anatomy gaps, mismatched libidos, keeping novelty alive in long-term relationships, and why sex can improve with age.
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Students Taught Her 'Soaking' Exists
- Nicole learned about 'soaking' from her students as a real practice among Mormon college students.
- It involves penetration without thrusting while friends shake the bed to avoid 'losing virginity.'
Clitoris Is The Pleasure Hub
- The clitoris is largely internal and central to female pleasure, explaining why penetration alone rarely leads to orgasm.
- About 82% of women typically need direct clitoral stimulation.
Work On Yourself To Reclaim Desire
- If low self-attraction blocks intimacy, pursue therapy and personal growth to remove obstacles.
- Partners can help, but individual participation in growth is essential to sexual confidence.
