RedHanded ShortHand: King Ferdinand VII – History’s Biggest D**k
Mar 17, 2026
A scandal-filled look at a notorious Spanish monarch, from bizarre physical rumors to alleged sexual violence. Political betrayal, Napoleon-era abdications, exile, and a dramatic return to power are explored. The collapse of Spain’s empire, ruthless repression during the Ominous Decade, and frantic attempts to secure an heir round out the chaotic reign.
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How Ferdinand Ruined Spain's Empire
- Ferdinand VII's reign destroyed Spain's global standing by betraying allies, reversing reforms, and losing most overseas colonies.
- After restoration in 1814 he annulled the 1812 Constitution, persecuted opponents, and by 1833 had presided over the empire's collapse.
Ferdinand's Medical Condition Shaped His Life
- Ferdinand likely suffered macrogenitosomia, producing an abnormally large, oddly shaped penis that became a source of shame.
- Contemporary descriptions compared it to a billiard cue: thin at the base, thick at the tip, and unusually long.
Wedding Night Horror With Maria Antonia
- Ferdinand's first wife Maria Antonia reportedly screamed "monster" upon seeing him naked and their marriage remained unconsummated for months.
- Staffers say the prince avoided intercourse, embroidering shoes instead, leaving the young queen traumatised.