Ep. 438: Life After Betrayal

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In this episode, JJ sits down with returning guest Lori Shelley, a coach who helps women navigate the emotional and practical aftermath of betrayal. Lori shares her background—from 12 years in financial planning (including training leadership), to 13 years at home raising her kids, to 13 years in HR—and how her own life experience led her to coaching women in midlife who are rebuilding after major relationship disruption.

Lori opens up about discovering her husband's long-term deception through what's often called "drip disclosure"—learning the truth in pieces over time—and how that process created intense nervous-system dysregulation: depression, short temper, feeling worse as she approached home, and eventually rage that didn't match the partial information she had. She explains how a formal therapeutic disclosure helped bring alignment between what she felt and what was actually happening—creating clarity, validation, and a turning point for healing.

Together, JJ and Lori discuss why the right support matters. Lori describes the difference between approaches that frame partners as "co-addicts" versus betrayal trauma frameworks that recognize the impact of deception on safety, intuition, and identity. She shares how 12-step style groups (including COSA) can provide a safe starting place—especially when the group's structure and energy support growth instead of staying stuck in the story.

Lori also explains how she works with women today through groups and individual coaching, including:

• A group for women navigating separation/divorce after betrayal, and

• A deeper healing experience called The Spiral Path, a 6-month program exploring:

  1. what you want to leave behind,

  2. what you want to acknowledge, and

  3. what you want to walk away with.

  
  

JJ highlights Lori's unique zone of genius: blending emotional healing + financial and career support for women facing divorce—helping clients move from "I'm not okay" to regulated, grounded, and clear about what they will and won't accept moving forward. Lori shares one of her favorite group check-ins: noticing glimmers (small signs of hope) and naming what you're beating yourself up about—so you can begin to come back to yourself.

Connect with Lori: Website: LoriShelleyCoaching.com (Book a free 30-minute consultation) Facebook: Lori Shelley Coaching