Ep. 18: Perfectionism is Excellence, with Dr. Anne Harrington

Lilo sits down with Dr. Anne Harrington, a leading nuclear policy scholar and trailblazer, to unpack the lie that perfectionism equals excellence. From global security systems that fail despite flawless execution to the intensely personal grief of infertility and motherhood, Anne shares how doing everything “right” still doesn’t guarantee the outcome we want. This conversation explores control, vulnerability, and what it means to be good enough—in our work, our bodies, our relationships, and our lives.

In this episode:

What is this episode of Lies My Ego Told Me about?

This episode of Lies My Ego Told Me explores how perfectionism can masquerade as excellence—and the emotional cost of believing that doing everything right guarantees the right outcome. Through personal storytelling and systems-level insight, the episode connects global nuclear policy failures with deeply human experiences of grief, control, and motherhood.

Who is Anne Harrington and why is her story significant?

Anne Harrington is a professor of international relations and an expert on nuclear weapons and nonproliferation. Her story is significant because she bridges high-stakes global systems—where small failures can lead to catastrophe—with personal experiences of infertility, loss, and becoming a mother, revealing how limits of control exist in both policy and life.

What does this episode say about infertility and loss?

The episode reframes infertility and miscarriage as experiences that are not caused by personal failure. Anne emphasizes that no amount of effort, discipline, or “doing everything right” can guarantee biological outcomes—and that self-blame only deepens grief.

What does “good enough” mean in this episode?

“Good enough” means showing up with honesty, humility, and emotional presence rather than striving for flawlessness. Anne explains that children—and adults—don’t need perfect caregivers or perfect systems; they need relationships that allow for mistakes, repair, and resilience.


Resources & Links

• Show: Lies My Ego Told Me
  • Episode page, resources, and links: liesmyego.com
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For more resources: liesmyego.com