The Nonlinear Library EA - How I feel about my GWWC Pledge by Michael Townsend
Nov 29, 2023
07:56
Welcome to The Nonlinear Library, where we use Text-to-Speech software to convert the best writing from the Rationalist and EA communities into audio. This is: How I feel about my GWWC Pledge, published by Michael Townsend on November 29, 2023 on The Effective Altruism Forum.
I took the GWWC Pledge in 2018, while I was an undergraduate student. I only have a hazy recollection of the journey that led to me taking the Pledge. I thought I'd write that down, reflect on how I feel now, and maybe share it.
In high-school, I was kind of cringe
I saw respected people wear suits, and I watched (and really liked) shows like Suits.
I unreflectively assumed I'd end up the same. The only time I would reflect on it was to motivate myself to study for my upcoming exams - I have memories of going to the bathroom as a 17-year old, looking at myself in the mirror, and imagining being successful. I imagined the BMW I might drive, the family I could provide for, and the nice house I could own. A lot of this was psychologically tied up in aspirations to be in great shape.
I was bullied a bit in primary school and early high-school. Whether because of that or not, I unconsciously craved being respected. And respected people wore suits.
Despite what I assumed I would become - what I was actively working to become - I wasn't totally unreflective. On an intellectual level, I found it really strange knowing that the people around me earned so much that even a fraction of their earnings amounted to life-changing amounts of money for entire families - and not just some of the worst-off families, but probably for most families on the planet.
I sat with this cognitive dissonance for a while, and sometimes grappled with it. Over time, I gradually thought that I'd have to do something like donate to charities (I assumed only the "good ones", and was happy to kick the work of finding those "good ones" down the road). I didn't know how much I should give or what felt like "enough", but 10% seemed fair. I think at this point, effective altruism hadn't been coined - I'm pretty confident I'd never heard anything about it.
Obviously, I didn't donate anything. I was 17 and worked at McDonald's.
In early university, I didn't really know who I wanted to be
At this stage, I had radically different and inconsistent conceptions of what I wanted from life.
Just taking my career ambitions as an example:
Sometimes I wanted to be a police-officer (definitely because I watched The Wire).
I even considered joining the military (probably because I watched Band of Brothers - but also because they have good ads and there was a program I could have applied to that would involve the Australian military paying for my degree and giving me something like $40k AUD a year).
But mainly, I assumed I'd be a lawyer. I didn't really have a good reason for this (beyond liking debating and having good enough grades). Mind you, at this stage I didn't want to be a corporate lawyer. I identified as very left-wing, against greed and the system, so I'd become a criminal barrister.
While all this was happening, I was watching every science/educational channel that could hold my attention, and listening to every podcast about moral philosophy, economics, and psychology that I could find. It was pretty standard stuff for someone with those interests: Sam Harris, Very Bad Wizards, Veritasium and the like.
I also studied philosophy and was utterly convinced that moral realism was true (I now doubt that), Peter Singer was right (...I still largely think this) and that consciousness was interesting but hella confusing (still confused). This more intellectual side of me was now certain I needed to give at least 10% to effective charities, if not much more. But I was free to think this because I basically had no money and still worked at McDonald's.
More importantly, my best friend, Kieran, was constantly and forcefully insisting I try to be a better person. It often wasn't fun. I didn't like heari...
I took the GWWC Pledge in 2018, while I was an undergraduate student. I only have a hazy recollection of the journey that led to me taking the Pledge. I thought I'd write that down, reflect on how I feel now, and maybe share it.
In high-school, I was kind of cringe
I saw respected people wear suits, and I watched (and really liked) shows like Suits.
I unreflectively assumed I'd end up the same. The only time I would reflect on it was to motivate myself to study for my upcoming exams - I have memories of going to the bathroom as a 17-year old, looking at myself in the mirror, and imagining being successful. I imagined the BMW I might drive, the family I could provide for, and the nice house I could own. A lot of this was psychologically tied up in aspirations to be in great shape.
I was bullied a bit in primary school and early high-school. Whether because of that or not, I unconsciously craved being respected. And respected people wore suits.
Despite what I assumed I would become - what I was actively working to become - I wasn't totally unreflective. On an intellectual level, I found it really strange knowing that the people around me earned so much that even a fraction of their earnings amounted to life-changing amounts of money for entire families - and not just some of the worst-off families, but probably for most families on the planet.
I sat with this cognitive dissonance for a while, and sometimes grappled with it. Over time, I gradually thought that I'd have to do something like donate to charities (I assumed only the "good ones", and was happy to kick the work of finding those "good ones" down the road). I didn't know how much I should give or what felt like "enough", but 10% seemed fair. I think at this point, effective altruism hadn't been coined - I'm pretty confident I'd never heard anything about it.
Obviously, I didn't donate anything. I was 17 and worked at McDonald's.
In early university, I didn't really know who I wanted to be
At this stage, I had radically different and inconsistent conceptions of what I wanted from life.
Just taking my career ambitions as an example:
Sometimes I wanted to be a police-officer (definitely because I watched The Wire).
I even considered joining the military (probably because I watched Band of Brothers - but also because they have good ads and there was a program I could have applied to that would involve the Australian military paying for my degree and giving me something like $40k AUD a year).
But mainly, I assumed I'd be a lawyer. I didn't really have a good reason for this (beyond liking debating and having good enough grades). Mind you, at this stage I didn't want to be a corporate lawyer. I identified as very left-wing, against greed and the system, so I'd become a criminal barrister.
While all this was happening, I was watching every science/educational channel that could hold my attention, and listening to every podcast about moral philosophy, economics, and psychology that I could find. It was pretty standard stuff for someone with those interests: Sam Harris, Very Bad Wizards, Veritasium and the like.
I also studied philosophy and was utterly convinced that moral realism was true (I now doubt that), Peter Singer was right (...I still largely think this) and that consciousness was interesting but hella confusing (still confused). This more intellectual side of me was now certain I needed to give at least 10% to effective charities, if not much more. But I was free to think this because I basically had no money and still worked at McDonald's.
More importantly, my best friend, Kieran, was constantly and forcefully insisting I try to be a better person. It often wasn't fun. I didn't like heari...