Keep Talking Episode 47: Helen Fisher - The Science of Love
Helen Fisher is an anthropologist, a professor, an author, and one of the world's experts on the science of love. During our conversation, Helen talks about her background interest in love, the role that love plays in human existence, the evolutionary purpose of love, the possibility of love to endure for many years, how the subconscious influences who we fall in love with, how to know if you aren't in love, and wisdom she would provide to improve one's probability for healthy romance and a compatible mate choice.
As Helen notes during our interview, 97% of mammals don't pair bond. Human's drive to love and be loved is one of the sweeter aspects of our animal natures. She has spent her career trying to understand what love is and how we can better understand it. And just two years ago - in her mid-70's - Helen married for the first time since her 20's.
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(00:00) Intro
(00:09) Interest in studying the subject of love
(04:39) Trailblazing the academic study of love
(05:43) What is love?
(10:22) Love and love decisions are life's most important choices
(12:07) Understanding "love maps" and the unconscious as it relates to love
(21:36) Millennials and "slow love"
(27:17) When are you not in love? When is it time to end a relationship?
(37:19) Identifying great compatibility matches
(41:14) Mitigating the risks of neuroticism from torpedoing a relationship
(47:51) Attachment styles and compatibility
(54:07) Identifying the root cause of depression
(56:07) Ending a relationship when indifference is present
(01:07:21) Designing a lifestyle that makes you a better and authentic partner
(01:10:48) The role of marriage in human life
(01:14:51) Helen getting married in her mid-70's