'My behaviour is out of control' Listener question

Please could you talk about a subject that you have probably addressed, directly or indirectly, a thousand times already – control!  

I am tying myself in knots trying to formulate the question…

I get that trying to be in control IS the problem and keeps the illusion alive that we can be safe.

Because of this understanding I seem to have dropped the trying to be in control.  This appears in many areas of my life, but one in particular is my behaviour around overeating/comforting, where I now feel totally out of control. 

Am I using my understanding as an excuse to do whatever I want?  

Where and how do I get to the place where my system does what is in its own best interests.  And yet doesn’t it anyway?

You talked in a recent podcast about treating the body like a pet, giving it good food and exercise etc.  But when I am out of control I don’t care about any of that, I am in full-on self destruct.

I hope you are able to extract from this what I don’t know how to ask!