Shameless Sex

#482 From Lips to Tips: Mastering Sexy Communication & Pleasure Mapping

5 snips
Apr 21, 2026
Sarah Tomchesson, a sex educator and intimacy coach who teaches pleasure mapping, and Charlie Glickman, a seasoned sex and relationship coach, break down sexy communication and embodied pleasure practices. They discuss negotiating needs, pleasure mapping, somatic check-ins, sensory tools, and scaling wants to navigate desire mismatches. Short, practical, and focused on presence and pleasure.
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ADVICE

Respond To Boundaries With Curious Safety

  • When someone states a sexual boundary, respond with curiosity not pressure to build connection.
  • Amy suggests saying “I’m curious, can you tell me more?” or offering what phrasing would feel safe instead of demanding explanations.
INSIGHT

Smuggled Desires Sabotage Connection

  • People often think they already communicate well, so explicit communication workshops get low signups.
  • Charlie names 'smuggled desires' where indirect asks hide true motives and cause misreads during sex or daily life.
ADVICE

Use A One To Ten Scale To Prioritize Wants

  • Use a 1–10 scale to communicate how much you want or need something, then prioritize higher numbers.
  • Charlie uses this for small decisions (pizza vs Chinese) so practice scales before high-stakes talks.
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