Sad to Savage Shrink Chicks on Normalizing Therapy and How We Enter Relationships with Unconscious Contracts
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Feb 4, 2024 Emmalee Beerley, a licensed marriage and family therapist and co-host of the Shrink Chicks podcast, joins Jennifer to discuss the vital role of therapy in relationships. They highlight how unconscious contracts shape our interactions and emphasize the need for healthy boundaries. With personal anecdotes, they explore the significance of mutual understanding and self-awareness in nurturing connections. They also encourage embracing discomfort and difficult conversations as essential steps toward personal growth and healthier relationships.
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Repeat Boundaries To Reinforce Change
- Realize boundaries often require repeated reminders; one request rarely fixes entrenched patterns.
- Keep consistent action and patience while both partners work to change communication habits.
Unconscious Contracts Shape Expectations
- People enter relationships with 'unconscious contracts'—expectations the other person never agreed to.
- Making those contracts conscious lets you decide whether the relationship can work as-is or needs change.
Make Expectations Explicit
- Ask what expectations you and the other person actually hold instead of assuming shared meaning.
- Clarify needs (e.g., frequency of contact) to prevent resentment and misread intentions in friendships and romance.