Conversations with Dr. Jennifer Let's Talk Libido
Dec 9, 2025
In this insightful chat, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, an LDS relationship and sexuality coach with a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology, teams up with Tammy Hill. They unravel the complexities of libido, emphasizing that sexual desire is fluid rather than fixed. Dr. Finlayson-Fife critiques the notion of predefined libido and shares how meanings around sex and relationships influence desire. She offers practical advice on navigating common challenges, like managing sexual entitlement and 'touched out' feelings, promoting a more enriching and connected sexual dynamic.
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Meaning Drives Female Initiation
- Women can initiate sexual activity without first feeling embodied arousal because desire can be driven by meaning.
- Embodied arousal and psychological desire are distinct and influenced by safety and context for women.
Libido Is Not Destiny
- 'Libido' suggests fixed, out-of-control drives, which hides the meanings shaping desire.
- People can grow sexual capacity instead of labeling themselves permanently high or low desire.
Calendar-Proofing Backfires
- A husband tracked sex on a calendar to prove his point and validate himself over his wife.
- Jennifer said that strategy gives quick superiority but guarantees emotional and sexual distance.
