Why You Keep Sabotaging What You Want Most: The Internal Disconnect Between Belief and Your Real Life

"I do what I don't want to do."

It’s the ancient struggle Paul described in Romans 7, and it’s a reality many of us face every day. We rationally believe in God’s love and want to be present for our families, yet in moments of pressure, we react out of fear, control, or exhaustion—effectively sabotaging the very things we long for most.

In this episode of The Wholehearted Way, host Nathan King sits down with Wellspring Group founder Larry Bolden and Creative Director Anisa Sumlar to celebrate the launch of their new book, Becoming Wholehearted. Together, they pull back the curtain on the "internal disconnect" that keeps us stuck in cycles of self-sabotage.

In this conversation, we explore:

• False Visceral Beliefs: Why our "gut-level" beliefs (often formed in childhood) frequently override our intellectual or biblical truths.
• The Four Levels of the Heart: Moving beyond just "thinking" and "choosing" to engage the deeper realms of "feeling" and "desiring".
• The "Cats in the Cradle" Trap: Larry shares a poignant reflection on how even "good, Godly men" can unintentionally repeat the cycles of distance they once vowed to break.
• The Theology of Socks: Anisa tells a surprising story about a department store and a sock survey that revealed her own self-protective strategies against wanting beauty.
• From Black & White to Color: Moving from "knowing about" God to an experiential, "full-color" relationship with Him.

Whether you feel "burned out" on religious performance or simply wonder why you can't seem to follow through on your best intentions, this episode offers a signpost toward a life of greater integration and "ever becoming".

Resources Mentioned:

• The New Book: Becoming Wholehearted by Larry Bolden and Anisa Sumlar.
• Deepen the Journey: Download the free study guide and find more resources at becomingwholehearted.org.
• Listen to more: wholeheartedwaypodcast.com