Surfing Waves of Emotion Through Emotional Regulation

Aug 7, 2025

Tracey DeMaria, an occupational therapist with over 20 years of experience, shares insights on emotional regulation using surfing as a metaphor. She emphasizes that emotions are temporary waves to ride, helping both children and adults visualize and manage feelings more effectively. The conversation highlights the impact of school environments on neurodivergent children and the importance of using nuanced emotional language. Tracey also discusses blending sensory and cognitive strategies for better emotional well-being, and how self-awareness and special interests can aid in emotional control.

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ADVICE

Use Neutral Feeling Words

Use comfortable/uncomfortable instead of good/bad when naming feelings.
Choose words intentionally because language sends subconscious messages about emotions.

INSIGHT

Behaviors Signal The Nervous System

Reframing behavior as dysregulation shifts focus to the nervous system.
This perspective honors why actions happen instead of condemning children as faulty.

ANECDOTE

Flood Panic Example

Tracey described her own flood panic response to show dysregulation can be protective.
She used that story to explain yelling can be adaptive in dangerous situations.

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On episode 282, Emily Kircher-Morris welcomes occupational therapist and author Tracey DeMaria, to explore emotional regulation through a metaphor of "surfing the waves." They talk about how the analogy helps both children and adults visualize and manage their emotions, and how that visualization helps the process feel more like a skill to be honed rather than a clinical task. They discuss the importance of language in framing behaviors, the impact of school environments on neurodivergent children, and the integration of sensory and cognitive tools to support emotional well-being.

TAKEAWAYS

"Surfing the waves" aids emotional regulation.
Language shapes perception of behaviors.
School environments especially impact neurodivergent children.
Blend sensory and cognitive tools for balance.
Self-awareness is key to regulation.
Mindfulness can be adapted for kids.
Special interests can aid emotional control.

Join us for our free event, Creating Neurodiversity-Affirming Schools, a learning and continuing education opportunity. The event will feature a presentation by Emily Kircher-Morris and Amanda Morin, and you'll hear from a panel of experts about the future of education. Register now!

Tracey DeMaria, OTD, OTR/L, is an experienced occupational therapist specializing in regulation skills, sensory integration, and mental health. With over 20 years in the field, she currently serves as an occupational therapist in the Phillipsburg School District and as an adjunct professor in the occupational therapy master's program at Moravian University.

Tracey holds a clinical doctorate in occupational therapy from Misericordia University and a bachelor's degree from Colorado State University. Proudly neurodiverse, she is a dedicated advocate for disability rights and mental health, committed to empowering individuals of all ages and neurotypes through the development of regulation skills.

BACKGROUND READING

Tracey's website, How To Surf the Waves, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook

The Neurodiversity Podcast is on Facebook, Instagram, BlueSky, and you're invited to join our Facebook Group.