I Have ADHD Podcast 391 BITESIZE | Is My Child Trying To Manipulate Me or Do They Have PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance)?
Apr 2, 2026
Casey Ehrlich, a parenting and PDA expert who uses nervous-system-based approaches, joins to explore PDA as a survival-driven need for autonomy. She discusses how PDA can look like avoidance of eating, sleep, hygiene, toileting, and safety. Short clips cover polyvagal framing, why strict parenting can backfire, and when caregiving replaces traditional parenting.
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PDA As A Nervous System Survival Response
- PDA-related behaviors can stem from neuroceptive threats and a mammalian nervous system failing to downregulate via social safety signals.
- Casey Ehrlich explains kids in burnout revert to 'reptilian' responses: flee, freeze, or try to dominate to regain safety.
Autonomy Drive Can Override Basic Needs
- PDA can be a disability where the drive for autonomy overrides basic survival needs like eating, sleeping, hygiene, and toileting.
- Casey notes this drive can lead to stoppages such as not eating, not speaking, or not walking under extreme stress.
Stop Doubling Down On Strict Discipline
- When strict traditional discipline escalates harm, shift from 'parenting' strategies to caregiving and disability-focused supports.
- Casey explains doubling down on strict parenting worsened violence and required a change in approach.