If You Can’t Say No, Your Yes Means Nothing

We’re back, and life got real

It has been the lightest recording stretch the show has had in almost ten years. Adam owns the delay and explains why. Since the last episode, baby Mary arrived very early at around 27 weeks and about two pounds. She was baptized immediately, and there is a question about whether she was also confirmed due to the use of holy oils and the circumstances.

A few days after birth, Mary underwent an intense and invasive surgery that lasted more than six hours. The surgeon later said it was the hardest operation he had ever performed. The procedure connected her esophagus to her stomach, and the family is now living the day to day reality of the NICU: small adjustments, constant monitoring, and a careful balance with oxygen, blood pressure, heart rate, and long term risks.

The charity that is hard to receive

A theme that keeps surfacing is gratitude, and how hard it can be to receive help when you want to be in control. Adam and David thank listeners for prayers, meals, transportation help, and the quiet generosity that shows up when you least expect it.

They give a major shoutout to the Ronald McDonald House, which provided a place for the family to stay near the hospital, along with meals and support that would have been financially impossible otherwise. Adam also mentions friends and patrons who opened their homes and brought food. It is a reminder that “village” is not a cliché when your world turns upside down.

Also, in the middle of all this, Adam’s son Leo drops a classic kid moment at Mass: during a serious homily he leans over and asks when he will get to meet J.B. Mooney, the professional bull rider. Fatherhood keeps you humble.

What they’re drinking

David brings a bottle from the Scotch Malt Whisky Society featuring Royal Brackla. The tasting notes are ridiculous in the best way, described like “dessert in the workshop,” with custard, toffee chunks, marshmallow, and an unexpected “carpenter’s shop” vibe. It even has a hint of iodine that makes David think of Islay, without the heavy peat and smoke.

A relic in the hotel room

A priest from the diocese drops off a first class relic of St. Gemma, telling Adam to keep it while the family walks through this trial. Adam and David talk about the reality of having the body of a saint in the room with you, and the comfort that brings, especially when the road ahead is long.

Lent and temperance: not a “no,” but a “yes”

The episode’s main topic is temperance, framed as the Lenten virtue that touches everything. The simple kid definition they love is: temperance is having a healthy amount of everything. Not perfect, but memorable.

They push back against the idea that temperance is just restriction. Temperance is not merely refusing the extra piece of cake. It is also the positive ordering of your life so you can say yes to the right things at the right time in the right way: exercise, prayer, rest, work, family presence, joy, celebration.

The key theme: virtue is always a yes. The “no” exists to protect the “yes.”

St. John Cassian and the “bread” of Sodom

One of the most interesting turns comes from St. John Cassian’s Institutes. Cassian argues that Sodom’s first sin was not the obvious sin people associate with Sodom and Gomorrah. He points to Ezekiel and emphasizes surplus, abundance, and gluttony. Cassian’s logic is that the disorder starts low and spreads upward: feed the appetite, then the passions grow louder, the will weakens, and eventually the mind rationalizes what it should never have chosen.

They connect this to the common sense link between food appetites and sexual appetites. If you cannot curb the basic, you will struggle to curb the higher.

A line that lands: If you can’t say no, your yes means nothing.

Pleasure, pain, and spiritual clarity

Adam shares a sharp thought: pleasure clouds judgment faster than pain. Suffering, especially voluntary suffering, tends to focus the mind. It wakes you up and forces clarity. That is why fasting can sharpen spiritual vision. It reveals attachments you thought you did not have.

They bring in Father Anselm Stolz’s point: ascetic practices are not the end. The end is contemplation, union with God, and becoming more like Christ. The danger for men is turning Lent into an achievement badge, turning penance into pride, and making the self the center.

Temperance orders the whole man

They outline a hierarchy: God, reason, will, passions, body. Temperance helps keep the order intact, so the higher rules the lower and the lower serves the higher. When the passions take the driver’s seat, the will becomes a servant, reason gets distorted, and you can rationalize sin quickly or slowly over years.

They also emphasize something many men miss: the temperate man feasts. Feasting well matters. If you do not fast, you will not feast well. If you cannot feast temperately, your fasting might be more about control than freedom.

Practical takeaways for dads

One of the best “take this home” moments is teaching kids delayed gratification. The classic M&M test becomes a simple, memorable way to form a child in temperance. Kids have wildly different reactions, and that is the point. You are building the muscle of waiting for the greater good.

They also offer a gut check for adults: a good test of temperance is how you feast, not only how you fast. If Sundays turn into chaos, bingeing, and excuses, something is off. The goal is freedom.

Closing thought

Lent is a season of no so you can say yes. Mastery before glory. The Christian life is not an empty handed life. It is abundance in the right order.