The Tech Trek The Real Difference Between Leading People and Managing Them
In this episode, Amir sits down with Taofeek Rabiu, VP of Engineering at Etsy, to unpack a distinction that most organizations miss: being a people leader is not the same as being a people manager.
If you have ever wondered why some teams thrive under pressure while others crumble, or why trust feels so hard to build in engineering orgs, this conversation has answers. Taofeek shares how leadership is not reserved for those with a manager title, why vulnerability is a strategic advantage, and how to spot the early warning signs of poor leadership before they drag down performance.
What You’ll Learn
Leadership exists at every level, not just in management roles. Individual contributors who mentor, influence, and model the right behaviors are leaders too — and organizations need to recognize and reward that.
Trust is built through action, not talk. It grows when leaders show vulnerability, stay transparent about their thinking, and follow through on commitments. When you stop acting on what you hear, you break trust.
Poor leadership has a smell. Teams that avoid hard conversations, struggle to navigate change, or fail to ramp new hires are showing symptoms of leadership gaps, not process problems.
Feedback is about helping people see, not telling them what to do. The best leaders use curiosity to guide others toward realization and self-awareness.
Effective leaders make high signal, low frequency decisions. The goal is not to make a thousand calls a day but to gather diverse perspectives and make the few decisions that truly move the team forward.
Timestamped Highlights
01:42 – Taofeek breaks down the difference between managing people (reviews, org charts, timesheets) and leading people (building trust, showing care, creating psychological safety).
09:04 – What happens when managers focus only on mechanics. Taofeek describes the smells of poor leadership and how they surface in teams that can’t handle change.
13:18 – How to give feedback when someone is not showing up as a leader. Taofeek explains his approach: start with curiosity, triangulate with skip levels, and guide people to their own realizations.
17:47 – Who is responsible for building trust. Taofeek shares why it is on leaders to create the conditions, not on reports to earn it.
22:04 – The moment Simon Sinek told Taofeek to stop saying people managers and start saying people leaders — and how that small shift in language changed his approach to leadership.
24:29 – What feedback a VP of Engineering actually values. Taofeek shares how he uncovers blind spots and the kind of input that helps him grow.
Words That Stuck
“The team doesn’t trust you. You’re not providing a psychologically safe environment in which the team feels like they can course correct and flag things that they believe will lead to poor outcomes.”
If This Resonates, Here’s What to Do
Take one insight from this episode and put it into practice this week. Maybe it’s being more open in your next one-on-one, checking your follow-through, or asking your team a question you have been avoiding. Then share this episode with someone navigating the manager-to-leader transition. Subscribe to The Tech Trek for more conversations that help you grow as a leader, and connect with Taofeek on LinkedIn to keep the dialogue going.