Ladies, We Need To Talk Anal Sex — the biggest taboo
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Aug 24, 2020 Dr Nikki Goldstein, a sexologist offering practical, safety-first advice. Susie and Michelle, participants sharing positive, often intense experiences. Alison, who recounts feeling pressured and how communication rebuilt her confidence. They discuss consent, preparation, techniques, pleasure vs porn, STI and toy safety, and how to talk about anal sex with partners and teens.
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Pressure Undermined Alison's Sexual Confidence
- Alison felt persistent pressure from her partner who framed anal sex as normal, making her feel abnormal for resisting.
- That pressure eroded her sexual confidence until conversations and consent restored her control and enjoyment of anal sex.
Research Shows Anal Sex Often Coerced Among Teens
- Professor Cicely Marston found young people's anal sex experiences were often painful, risky and coercive rather than mutually pleasurable.
- Young men described 'slips' and badgering as normalized tactics to obtain non-consensual penetration.
Practical Steps To Make Anal Safer And Enjoyable
- Nikki Goldstein advises having upfront conversations, thorough foreplay, slow progression and lots of lube to make anal pleasurable and safe.
- She recommends cleaning (shower, bowel movement or douche) and stopping if pain or tension persists.