The Therapy Edit On 3 steps to address comparison
Aug 28, 2023
Anna explores why comparison keeps returning and how it undermines confidence. She links comparison to cultural and evolutionary roots and pinpoints when it becomes harmful. Three practical steps are outlined: notice and reframe extreme self-talk, choose three anchoring truths, and redirect comparison energy into growth. Resources for continued support are also highlighted.
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Comparison Is Built In And Culturally Fueled
- Comparison is both culturally encouraged and an inbuilt survival mechanism that helps us recognise useful differences.
- Anna Mathur explains that comparison can be helpful for role selection but becomes harmful when tied to self-worth.
Turn Big Judgments Into Specific Facts
- Notice the sweeping negative statements you make when comparing and replace them with factual, specific observations.
- Use facts to shape next steps (e.g., identify resources or small actions) instead of global self-judgments.
Seeing Calm Parenting Triggered Self-Blame
- Anna Mathur recounts seeing a calm parent and immediately thinking 'I'm a rubbish parent' as a common harsh leap from comparison.
- She demonstrates reframing that observation into wanting tools to feel calmer instead of global self-criticism.
