Listener question: what is happening with fear and the thought I'm going to die?

Listener question: Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the topic of selfidentity.. I am a musician and will soon have some concerts that seem very important for my future. I don‘t feel prepared enough, I have this feeling that I really don‘t know what is going to happen and if I will be able to play the pieces or if I will be too nervous. At the same time, I know that I would have the same feeling even if I had more time to prepare.

I started wondering if playing in front of an audience kind of forces me to let go of the idea of who my self is. In the phases when I‘m freaking out about the concert the words „I‘m going to die“ crossed my mind a couple of times. I started wondering if thats actually what is happening: my self identity is questioned whether it‘s real or not, so there actually is a part of me that is under the threat of metaphorically dying..

Also it feels so weird that the thing that is most important in my life is the one that now scares me to death.

I‘m actually not really sure what my question is.. It just feels like such a massive risk to play. And I was wondering if you could share with me some thoughts on this.