Gay Men Going Deeper Attachment Styles in Dating
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Aug 22, 2024 Ken Reid, an attachment- and trauma-informed counsellor, joins the conversation to delve into the nuances of attachment styles in dating. He explains the difference between secure and insecure attachments and how these styles can influence choices between monogamy and non-monogamy. They discuss the impact of trauma on attachment, revealing how anxious and avoidant individuals show up in relationships. Ken also shares practical steps for moving towards secure attachments, emphasizing the benefits of healing on personal growth and connection.
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What Attachment Style Actually Is
- Attachment style is how we relate and how fear shows up in relationships.
- Secure people regulate and self-sustain, insecure people are driven by abandonment or intimacy fears.
Origins: Parenting, Culture, And Biology
- Early caregiving patterns strongly shape anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachments.
- Ken Reid notes epigenetics and culture may also influence attachment beyond parenting.
Anxious And Avoidant Mirror Each Other
- Anxious and avoidant parts mirror and trigger each other in relationships.
- Healing often requires moving toward the opposite polarity (anxious → learn boundaries; avoidant → learn feeling).