Big Brains Anxious? Avoidant? How to Build More Secure Relationships
17 snips
Apr 16, 2026 
Amir Levine, psychiatrist and neuroscientist at Columbia and author of Attached and Secure, explores how attachment styles can change and why security shapes relationships. He discusses earned security, secure priming therapy, the CARP principles, micro moments that reshape the brain, and practical rules for building dependable, trusting connections.
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Attachment Is A Safety Mechanism
- Attachment is primarily a safety mechanism that scans others for availability to help us feel safe in the world.
- Amir Levine explains security reshapes the brain by creating an enriched social environment that promotes neural healing and change.
Ruth's Vacation Created A Secure Kernel
- Levine recounts a week-long vacation with Ruth, a calm caregiver who created safety for kids she barely knew.
- That single secure experience left a 'secure kernel' Levine says people can recall to become more secure.
Childhood Isn't Destiny For Attachment
- Childhood attachment explains less than 10% of adult attachment; 90% is shaped by later life experiences.
- Levine stresses attachment styles are fluid and changeable across time and relationships.
