Men, Vulnerability, and the Path to Connection with Jamie Haigh and Blake Roberts

12 snips

Feb 13, 2026

Jamie Haigh, therapist focused on men's vulnerability and recovery, and Blake Roberts, therapist exploring holistic masculinity and healing, talk about the hidden 'three percent' of shame that blocks connection. They discuss loneliness, addiction, addictive coping like pornography, risk versus redemptive risk, play that connects instead of conquers, and how to build layered, nonperformative safety for men.

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Transcript

Episode notes

INSIGHT

The Power Of The Hidden 3%

Blake and Jamie describe a "3%" theory: people are ~97% honest but hide a painful 3% that fuels shame and loneliness.
Naming and sharing that 3% invites deep freedom and connection beyond typical honesty.

ADVICE

Use A Clear Invitation For Vulnerability

Use explicit language to invite vulnerability: say, “I need to share my 3% with you.”
That phrase creates a permission slip and a sacred space for honest disclosure.

INSIGHT

Loneliness Drives Addictive Seeking

Jamie links men's addictive patterns to unmet needs for attuned connection and growing loneliness.
Social media and fewer shared communal spaces worsen men's isolation and pain.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

What if the freedom you long for is hidden in that final 3% of the truth you're afraid to share?

This week, Dan and Rachael are joined by therapists Blake Roberts and Jamie Haigh of the Three Percent Podcast for a thoughtful conversation about holistic masculinity, loneliness, and the risk of real vulnerability.

Blake and Jamie share the meaning behind the "three percent", which references the small but powerful parts of our story we hide in shame, and how naming them opens the door to deeper connection and freedom. Together, they explore why so many men feel alone, the difference between conquering and connecting, and how redemptive risk invites us into a fuller, more honest life.

About the Allender Center Podcast:

For over a decade, the Allender Center Podcast has offered honest, thoughtful conversations about the deep work of healing and transformation. Hosted by Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen, MDiv, this weekly podcast explores the complexities of trauma, abuse recovery, story, relationships, and spiritual formation. Through questions submitted by listeners, stories, interviews, and conversations, we engage the deep places of heartache and hope that are rarely addressed so candidly in our culture today. Join the Allender Center Podcast to uncover meaningful perspectives and support for your path to healing and growth.

At the Allender Center, we value thoughtful dialogue across a wide range of voices, stories, and lived experiences. In that spirit, our podcast features guests and hosts who may hold differing perspectives. The perspectives shared on this podcast by guests and hosts reflect their own experiences and viewpoints and do not necessarily represent the views, positions, or endorsements of the Allender Center and/or The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology.

Stream each episode, plus find transcripts, additional resources, and more at:

theallendercenter.org/podcast

To become a supporter of the Allender Center Podcast, visit:

https://theallendercenter.org/2025/11/podcast-support/