Brendan O'Connor

“I was a bit player in my parents’ drama, a parentified eldest daughter”

Mar 7, 2026
Clíodhna O’Sullivan, first-time novelist of the romantasy Her Hidden Fire, reflects on growing up as a parentified eldest daughter in rural Carlow. She discusses living with an alcoholic father and a depressed mother, how those roles shaped her choices, and how fantasy offered an escape and later fueled her debut novel.
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ANECDOTE

Respectable Title Hid Daily Dysfunction

  • Her father was a semi-high-functioning alcoholic who held the respectable job of headmaster yet often drank all night and required his daughter to physically open the school.
  • He used put-downs to undermine her, which turned her effort into a performance to avoid criticism and win approval through A grades.
INSIGHT

Perfectionism Became Emotional Currency

  • Growing up in that household taught her that children are 'not allowed to have needs' and must perform a role rather than be seen as individuals.
  • She learned perfectionism as emotional currency: A's and usefulness bought temporary comfort and attention from parents.
ANECDOTE

Mother's Fear And Pressure Shaped Choices

  • Her mother oscillated between anger and deep depression, telling Clíodhna she would die and entrusting her with hidden money to look after younger siblings.
  • Her mother repeated the 'Saturday's child works hard for a living' narrative to pressure Clíodhna into providing and succeeding.
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