Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

TPP 497: The Inner Work Behind Staying Present, with Matthew Fishleder

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Mar 31, 2026

Matthew Fishleder, a licensed marriage and family therapist who supports parents of neurodivergent kids, explores the inner life of parenting. He talks about chronic worry, self-criticism, and burnout as natural responses to stress. The conversation covers how parenting reshapes identity, why naming feelings reduces shame, and practical ways to pause and respond with more presence and steadiness.

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INSIGHT

What Parents Mean By Inner Life

A parent's inner life is the felt experience during parenting, including feelings you voice and those you hide.
Matthew Fishleder describes it as a holistic mix of present emotions, past relationships, and daily stressors shaping responses to kids.

ANECDOTE

First Glimpse Of Parental Love Shifted Everything

Matthew recalls first seeing his son and being surprised by an intense depth of love.
He uses that personal moment to show parenting can reveal unexpected extremes of joy, guilt, frustration, and shame.

ADVICE

Name The Feeling Then Choose Your Response

Name your feeling in the moment and ask what action aligns with your parenting values.
Example: notice frustration at shoe time, then choose a calm strategy rather than yielding to an impulse to yell.

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Today we’re turning the lens inward and talking about the inner life of parents—especially those of us raising neurodivergent kids. My guest is Matthew Fishleder, a licensed marriage and family therapist who works with adults navigating anxiety, life transitions, and the emotional complexity of being human. A central focus of Matthew’s work is supporting parents in understanding their own worry, guilt, and burnout—not as personal failures, but as understandable responses to chronic stress. In our conversation, we explore what’s actually happening when parents get stuck in chronic worry about their child’s future, how self-criticism takes root, and why tending to our own inner world is foundational to our kids’ sense of safety. Matthew shares practical, compassionate strategies for relating differently to anxiety so we can show up with more steadiness, presence, and connection—even in the most activated moments.

About Matthew Fishleder

Matthew Fishleder is a psychotherapist licensed in California and Maryland who works with adults navigating anxiety, life transitions, and the emotional complexity of being human. One focus of his work is the inner life of parents, especially those raising neurodivergent kids. His approach is neurodiversity affirming and grounded in humanistic and acceptance based frameworks. Matthew helps parents understand worry, guilt, and burnout as understandable responses to chronic stress, and supports them in relating differently to anxiety and self criticism so they can show up with more presence, steadiness, and connection.

Things you'll learn from this episode

How tending to a parent’s inner life and emotional awareness strengthens the entire family system

Why chronic worry and anxiety are understandable responses to parenting—and how to relate to them differently

How parenthood reshapes identity and invites ongoing self-discovery

Why normalizing difficult emotions reduces shame and builds emotional resilience

How cultivating self-regulation and holistic self-awareness helps parents show up with steadiness and presence

Resources mentioned

Growing Present (Matt’s website)

Internal Family Systems

Laura Key on ADHD Aha Moments, Parenting, and Burnout (Full-Tilt Parenting)

An Interview with Dr. Dan Siegel About The Yes Brain (Full-Tilt Parenting)

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