The Spiritual Life with Fr. James Martin, S.J. Kate Bowler on how to accompany those who are suffering
Mar 24, 2026
Kate Bowler, scholar of American religious history and author who writes about illness, faith, and joy. She reflects on her cancer diagnosis and why phrases like "everything happens for a reason" hurt. Conversation focuses on what not to say to the suffering, how to accompany people with honesty and presence, the difference between joy and fleeting happiness, and spiritual practices that invite hope.
AI Snips
Chapters
Books
Transcript
Episode notes
Hospital Moment That Changed Her Faith
- Kate Bowler describes being diagnosed with stage four cancer at 35 and feeling shame after prior medical dismissals left her unheard.
- She felt a sudden, intense sense of being "bubble wrapped loved" by God in the hospital that shifted her belief away from transactional faith.
The Cruelty Of Turning Suffering Into Lessons
- Kate argues American Christian culture often turns suffering into moral lessons or theodicies that explain away pain.
- She says this tendency to demand lessons can be cruel and prevents embracing God's unconditional, non-mathematical love.
Avoid 'At Least' Consolations
- Avoid using any phrase that begins with "at least" when consoling someone since it minimizes their loss.
- Kate recalls callers saying "at least" things like at least you're at a great hospital or at least it's not stage five, which felt dismissive.
