Unconditional love and suicide : listener question

My question is this. What if what the person you are with is saying “I don’t want to carry on living and I want to end my life” in terms of accepting what the other chooses to do with their actions. What I think I’m seeing in the book is that I can’t yet tell what is being actually said as there’s still massive reaction to these words so more work to be done first. Currently then I’m in reaction to me and my needs trying to be met via her and so no space for her and in fact a pushing away of the love and connection I want us to have together (so I can feel like a ‘good mum’). So my need for her to make me feel like a ‘good mum’ by not trying to kill herself or even talk about it is what’s creating the whole shit show. Have I got that right?