These days, Dr. Alexandra talks about discernment when approaching the high volume of content available in the realm of mental wellness, self-help, and relationships, so you can sift through what works for you and what doesn’t. And a guiding principle is that insight alone is not sufficient. Engaging with content that helps you go from just knowing some new things to embodying these lessons contributes to your depth of understanding and potential for healing. Today’s guest found her way into her work through eagerly reading self-help book after self-help book trying to understand herself but determined that the piece she needed for her own healing was the felt, somatic experience of being safe in relationships. And that’s not necessarily a romantic relationship, either - that is any anchoring relationship: friends, family members, mentors, pets. This guest is Jessica Baum, licensed psychotherapist and author of the books Anxiously Attached and more recently, Safe: An Attachment-Informed Guide to Building More Secure Relationships, which is the focus of this conversation.

You will hear Dr. Alexandra and Jessica Baum discuss:

the science of how relationships offer us these healing anchors, and how to create experiences of safety in our bodies, both from the outside in, and the inside out.
the dynamic nature of attachment styles, or patterns as Jessica calls them, which runs counter to the way many folks speak about them these days.
The Wheel of Attachment, which brings more nuance to the whole topic of attachment.
how to begin this type of somatic work to understand our own dynamic attachment patterns and to engage our right hemisphere of the brain more often to enrich and deepen our connections.
healing in romantic relationships, and how that’s not always available to us in every pairing - but healing through doing our own work always is!

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

Safe: An Attachment-Informed Guide to Building More Secure Relationships by Jessica Baum https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/safe
Conscious Relationship Group https://consciousrelationshipgroup.com/
Jessica Baum on IG @jessicabaumlmhc https://www.instagram.com/jessicabaumlmhc/?hl=en

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s Loving Bravely newsletter: https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/

Join Esther Perel's annual clinical conference Sessions Live 2026! Learn in person in Brooklyn, New York or virtually on May 15th and 16th. Use code SOLOMON50 for $50 off a virtual ticket or SOLOMON100 for $100 off in-person. Get your tickets at https://sessionslive2026.estherperel.com/

Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/

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Timothy Freke