Listener message - things got quieter

Listener message: 

I wanted to write to you since a long time! It will be a very boring mail without any questions… I just want to thank you. Life got so much easier since I met you. 

Nothing in the outer world changed, one the contrary: I still am dating without success, my mother got a stroke and is now paralyzed and needs 24 hour care, my stepfather is looking after her and on the verge of breaking down, my sisters husband got diagnosed with cancer one week ago and will be in chemotherapy the next two months daily after the operation next week,… I am just writing this to say  it is not suddenly all blissful and eternal sunshine…

But it got quieter.

The constant chattering in my head went away. Things get done, words are spoken - but in a way I am not involved. 

Or very much involved, depending on the view. I burst into tears seeing a policeman organizing the traffic around the Corona-riots. Just out of admiration for him being so serious about organizing the traffic - and for the anti-vaccine-rioters for being so serious about their views… and for the pro-vaccine-rioters who were trying to prevent the riots with more rioting… Things are so serious and so not serious at the same time around me.

It got clearer to me that the „I“ is a construct of multiple minds (mine and others), a device which is fed by genetics and conditioning (and when genetics is seen as conditioning of the ancestors, then there is only conditioning left = learned patterns in reaction to secure survival which made sense once or still does). 

Things are happening, I react, I get angry, I am sad, I am laughing, I say something or nothing - just without  the noise in my head of figuring out how I will be secured in the future or ruminating about how I was doing in the past.

And so I go on listening to your podcasts - and every day a layer of the onion gets removed and it is a step deeper - or not - until it does again  :-)