Listener question: what about positive emotions?

Listener question:  there has been a pattern in the past decade plus of judging my partner as "not giving me enough attention" and there is lots of evidence the mind will use to bolster this position. In recent months as I've worked with integration practices or noticing the patterns of self (sometimes called the shadow, or the unconscious) there's been a willingness to receive from my partner in a way that feels new. Then, in that receptivity, there is a feeling of deep received support, a form of attention, and appreciation. For some reason there's been a dropping down of the "do it my way" and receiving a lot more of "let's try his way" and the amount of love experienced is astonishing. Yet it still feels like a "need being met" or a "feeling loved" which is still self language. The brain creates a self in the same way it creates emotions (they are goal based concepts) so does this just mean the self is shifting gears vs disappearing? I guess there's some skepticism that the brain can shift to a degree where the self isn't built/rebuilt in some way. Is this still upholding that same story just in a new way?