Become New with John Ortberg 32. We've Been Listening Wrong
Mar 11, 2026
A look at Jesus’ call to “consider carefully how you listen” and what it means for how we receive words. Exploration of listening styles like report vs rapport talk and why we default to judging. A personal story about catching a critical listening habit and shifting to humble, learning-focused listening. Breakdown of three unhealthy listening patterns and what a good, receptive heart looks like.
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Listening Is A Spiritual Skill
- Jesus commands us to "consider carefully how you listen," implying listening itself has right and wrong forms that shape spiritual growth.
- John Ortberg frames listening as a spiritual skill that determines whether words nourish or simply bounce off a hardened heart.
Report Talk Versus Rapport Talk Explains Miscommunication
- Deborah Tannen's research shows men often use 'report talk' to convey mastery while women often use 'rapport talk' to build connection, causing misread signals in conversation.
- Ortberg applies this to his marriage example: his Scandinavian-Midwestern directness clashes with his California wife's expectations, producing comments that he doesn't listen.
How One Invocation Changed My Listening
- John Ortberg describes attending an event where a pastor gave a mini-sermon during an invocation and he found himself listening judgmentally and impatiently.
- A sudden thought invited him to ask, "Might God have something to say to me through these words?" which changed his posture to listening to learn.
