Elevator Systems - Bowen Family Systems Theory

S4 Ep4 Family Expectations with Maybo Lui

Apr 14, 2026

Maybo Lui, a Registered Clinical Counsellor who studies Bowen family systems and draws on her Chinese immigrant background. Conversations center on cultural and family expectations as multigenerational narratives. Short stories and metaphors explore pressure to conform, differentiation, living between cultures, and practical ways to decide what to keep or let go.

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INSIGHT

Family Expectations Are Inherited Narratives

Family expectations act as inherited narratives shaping actions until questioned.
Katie White and Maybo Lui emphasize expectations arise from ancestors, circumstances, and environment interacting with stress levels.

INSIGHT

Multi Generational Transmission Drives Hidden Rules

Multi-generational transmission explains how unspoken rules carry across generations.
The process embeds expectations below the surface via behaviors, body language, and narratives, not just explicit rules.

INSIGHT

Flexibility In Roles Lowers System Pressure

Flexibility in role expectations is a system resource that reduces pressure.
Katie White highlights that rigid rules (e.g., oldest daughter must do X) increase anxiety while flexible arrangements ease system functioning.

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This episode is a conversation about culture and family expectations from a Bowen family system theory perspective. Counsellor Maybo Lui joins us to discuss how cultural norms and environmental contexts influence family expectations, and how curiosity and flexibility are important to better understanding one’s own perspective as well as the family narrative.

Maybo Lui, MS, RCC is a Registered Clinical Counsellor and faculty member at Living Systems Counselling. She works mainly with adults and couples navigating relationship challenges, anxiety, and life direction. She has been studying Bowen Theory since 2015 and enjoys making these ideas more accessible through visuals and storytelling. Having grown up in a Chinese immigrant family, she often reflects on how family roles and cultural expectations influence how people show up and relate to each other.

Resources:

Maybo Lui’s practice: www.couplesontheroad.com

Dr Murray Bowen, Commitment to Principles: https://murraybowenarchives.org/boyd-book/chapter-5/
Peggy Chan: Bowen Theory, Culture and Therapeutic Applications to Asian Families, Australia and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy, 2024.

Kathleen Smith: Overfunctioning? Try Leaving Instructions for Aliens

Center for Family Consultation (Chicago), Midwest Symposium information

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Living Systems Counselling and Training provides educational material for those interested in learning more about Bowen family systems theory: https://livingsystems.ca

Key Topics:
#BowenFamilySystems #LivingSystems #MurrayBowen # #SystemsThinking #Culture #Family #Expectations #Differences #Communication #FamilyStories #Narrative #Flexibility #MentalHealth #Relationships #TherapyPodcast #DifferentiationOfSelf #Differentiation #Therapy #BowenTheory #ElevatorSystems #FamilySystemsTheory #ElevatorSystemsPodcast

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is general information about Bowen family systems theory and is not considered the practice of counselling or therapy. The information presented are the views of the people who say them. Any information used from this podcast is used at your own risk.