What is there for me to learn here? Listener question.

My husband & I are separating we still see a counsellor to keep up communication. I see that I love my husband (plutonically), I see he is a good person even though we don't want to be together anymore, I feel there is good will towards him. But the counsellor says that we are still stuck in a blame cycle. I find him too sensitive, emotionally immature, prone to sudden mood changes, he takes everything I say as a criticism. He thinks I critise him, I think ultimately I lost a lot of respect for him over many things that happened over the years & there was a lot of built up anger and resentment (which I think has gone but sometimes still arises). I feel like there is no going back but I still want to see what more I can do for my own learning about myself & for future relationships.  What do you see I could learn? there is obviously judgement of him as I have stated above, how can I look further into to my part? I think we have gone past the point of no return & my feelings have fundamentally changed but I still judge who he is being a lot of the time, how he talks to my daughter, how he reacts to me, his impatience & anger blah blah blah.....