The Peaceful Parenting Podcast

How DBT Skills Can Help Your Family with Big Feelings with Shireen Rizvi and Jesse Finkelstein: Episode 214

Dec 3, 2025
Shireen Rizvi, a clinical psychologist and DBT expert, and Jesse Finkelstein, also a clinical psychologist and DBT co-author, dive into the power of Dialectical Behavior Therapy for families. They discuss how validation and mindfulness can help manage big feelings in both parents and kids. Learn techniques like ‘check the facts’ and distress tolerance that support emotional regulation. The conversation includes practical tips for resisting the urge to fix children's problems and fostering acceptance during tough moments.
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ADVICE

Start With Validation Then Regulate Yourself

  • Validate your child's distress by naming why their feelings make sense before trying to fix anything.
  • Use parental self-regulation (brief time-outs or paced breathing) so you can respond calmly and effectively.
ADVICE

Avoid Problem-Solving During High Distress

  • Don't force problem-solving when a child is at an emotional 8–10; first lower intensity with distress-tolerance skills.
  • Once emotion drops to a 6–7, collaboratively use structured problem-solving steps.
ADVICE

Use Simple Co-Regulation Exercises

  • Use simple distress-tolerance practices together, like cold-water exposure or paced breathing, to rapidly lower arousal.
  • Make these exercises collaborative so your child feels supported rather than instructed.
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