Connection: listener question

My brother contacted me today. We've not spoken in years. When you asked if there were any things unresolved from our past, this is it. This, and my relationship with my Mam. All tied up in a lot of pain from the past. His messages really hit me. Aside from all the specifics of the stories involved in this, what I noticed was an immediate need to reach out. To a friend I have sought closeness with these past few years, to the group, to you. I wondered what can be seen in this. In some ways it seems a natural response. Connection. That's good for the system... a no brainer? At the same time, there seems a running away in it. Making it into something I can use to connect me to others. Get that strangely vibrant feeling that you feel when relationships deepen over shared pain. I'm not questioning whether I did the right thing or not. I know it's all exactly as it should be but it's clearly an opportunity for healing and so I'd like to be as open as I can be to whatever can be learned