Today, Explained Me, my husband, our girlfriend
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Mar 27, 2026 
Ashley Rae Harris, a culture critic and TV writer, and Sachi Cole, a senior writer at Slate, dig into the backlash around Lindy West’s memoir and her move toward polyamory. They explore feminism, consent, coercion, public judgment, dating app baggage, and why polyamory sparks such intense debate.
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Why Lindy West's Polyamory Story Sparked Backlash
- Sachi Cole says the backlash is really about how Lindy West entered polyamory, not polyamory itself.
- Adult Braces depicts Aham declaring polyamory nonnegotiable after secretly seeing two women, which made readers label it coercive even as Lindy West insists she chose it.
How Roya Became Part Of The Family
- Roya changes the marriage from a painful arrangement into a three-person relationship that feels sustaining to Lindy West.
- After Aham's medical crisis, Roya helps with care, Lindy befriends and falls for her, and Roya eventually moves into their cabin in the Washington woods.
Why Fans Took Lindy West's Story Personally
- Sachi Cole argues readers treat Lindy West like a proxy for themselves, so her choices feel personally threatening.
- That makes Adult Braces read less like one memoir and more like a betrayal of the bombastic feminist persona fans thought they knew.
