Helena & The Abuse Disguised as Care

In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Helena shares her story of growing up in chaos, surviving one visibly abusive marriage, and then entering another relationship that did not look abusive at first because everything was framed as care. What began as listening, insight, and emotional openness slowly became criticism, gaslighting, moving goalposts, and a constant need for approval. As Helena tried harder to become a “good wife,” she lost more trust in her own voice, her own reality, and her own worth.

It's a story about intergenerational trauma, psychological abuse, fear of divorce, the loss of self-trust, physical abuse, suicide threats, family violence, religious beliefs, gender roles, kernels of truth, gaslighting, shame, guilt, fear, obligation, coercive control, infidelity, the need for approval, being good enough, crazy making, feeling defective, control disguised as care, superiority, truth tellers, finding faults, unseen abuse, threats, rage, moving goal posts, criticism, clarity, and post-separation abuse.

Content Warning - This episode discusses intimate partner violence and suicide threats.

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Click on the title to read about Coercive Control as Care: Signs & Patterns

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