The Dr. Psych Mom Show
with clinical psychologist
Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten Your Boyfriend Saying He Doesn't Know About Marriage = He Rejected Your Proposal
Mar 24, 2026
A fresh look at attachment and proposals for women who pursue relationships. The host reframes repeated marriage talk as a real proposal and explains why responses like "I don't know" are effectively rejections. Topics include preoccupied attachment, variable reinforcement from childhood, role reversals with men, acceptable delays versus ambivalence, and the long-term costs of doing relationship work alone.
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Bringing Up Marriage Is A Real Proposal
- Saying you want marriage is functionally a proposal that can be rejected.
- Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten compares a conversational “I want to get married” to an on-stage proposal: a private no is still a no.
Treat Uncertain Answers About Marriage As A No
- If a partner responds with uncertainty or 'I don't know' about marriage, treat it as a rejection and move on.
- Do not expend effort trying to convince someone who has already declined the proposal emotionally.
Lana Lee Scheduled Texts To Manufacture Intimacy
- Lana Lee made an app to schedule texts to her boyfriend as an extreme example of a pursuing partner.
- Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten uses this story to illustrate how preoccupied partners manufacture relationship cues.